i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
