in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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