I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
