After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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