he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
