is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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