Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
