Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
