I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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