Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
