I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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