i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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