Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
