I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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