Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This is my gift to your gina
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
