Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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