Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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