i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
