she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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