So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
