Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
