I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
