I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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