A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
