The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
