Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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