I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
