That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
