Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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