Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize