babies were throwing up all over the place
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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