I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
