operation harelip BJ is a go
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
