Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
