so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The best revenge is premature balding
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
