He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize