Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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