Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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