When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
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