Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
