I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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