So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
