google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
