apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
