i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize