He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
