Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
