It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
