With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
