guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
