Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
