All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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