At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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