Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
