i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
