Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
