I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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